hurting a child

It shouldn’t hurt to be a child. Anonymous

Disciplining your child is one of the most difficult things to do after the initial days of parenthood. As children grow up, they are sure to become more demanding and test the limits of your patience. Initially, parents try reasoning with the child, but more often, disciplining deteriorates into beating and use of force as they desperately try to discipline their child! But dear parents do you know, there are some anti-effects of beating children which may have a long term impact on your child.

• Beating breeds beating:

Children observe and model the behaviour based on those around them, and these actions are sure to be picked up by him at an early stage. Spanking gives the child an idea that it is okay to hit smaller people if it is done due to a reason. If you choose to discipline your child by taking the rod on him, you are automatically giving him the license to hit those around him.

• Negatively affects the self-image of children:

More than physical, it is an emotional hurt that causes the worst effects. Your child will most likely develop a self-image of a looser and might end up having no respect for himself. He gets the idea that he is a ‘bad’ boy, and it stays with him like a scar for a very long time.

• Devalues a parent:

Spanking a child might look like beating works. You might feel satisfied for the moment but it will surely make you feel worse in the long run. Your child is sure to be afraid of you, but you will see its negative effects a little later when he gets detached from you.

• It stays with children for a long time:

Spanking during infancy can have a negative impact on a child’s temperament and behaviour. The more children are spanked, the more are the chances of them defying their parents. It was also found that it impacts a child’s mental health and causes cognitive difficulties.

• Beating children does not work:

No good can come out of using the rod on your children, and you may end up scaring them for life. Spanking does not have any benefits in terms of development whatsoever!

• Anger becomes a primary behaviour:

Not only are the parents affected by all the anger they feel, but they also sow the seeds of anger in their children. This means that your child is more likely to have emotional issues as he grows up. With hitting, the problems do not simply stop in fact they increase.

• Parents get out of control while beating:

Beating your child may start as a light punishment to curb certain behaviour. However, there is a very thin line between discipline and abuse which can easily get blurred after some time. For example, if the child repeats a behaviour or mistake again, you might choose to hit harder until you think he ‘learns’ to behave better. Therefore, beating children can turn out to be something worse for both you and the children.

• Develops low self-esteem in children:

In a survey, it was found that children who were subjected to corporal punishment as they grew up were more likely to exhibit antisocial, and even egocentric behaviour in their adulthood.

• Later problems in children:

Abuse may trigger obesity in adulthood. Obesity as a result of overeating and sedentary lifestyle are characteristics of faulty coping, both of them are used as escape mechanisms for unwanted situations. Negative childhood experiences have long term consequences in the form of hopelessness, depression and drug abuse.

• Beating brings back bad memories:

A child’s memories of being spanked can scar otherwise joyful scenes of growing up. People are more likely to recall traumatic events than pleasant ones. One of the goals of parents is to fill their children’s memory bank with hundreds, perhaps thousands, of pleasant scenes. It is amazing how the unpleasant memories of spanking can block those positive memories.

Maybe the most convincing exercise from any research is that nobody has discovered proof that beating children is useful for kids. What’s more, there are other approaches to get the desired impacts of our kids. Hence, we should concentrate our endeavours to comprehend and utilize these options.